


A Very Mummy Christmas!

by nicole_kaiwo



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: A little angst but not too much, Alternate Universe, Baking, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, F/M, Hot Chocolate, Motherhood, Remadora, Ronks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:01:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28195119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nicole_kaiwo/pseuds/nicole_kaiwo
Summary: The Lupins first Christmas!Little Teddy gives his parents a hard time! Especially Tonks, who, like every young mother, faces difficult choices, experiencing changes and constantly wonders if she is doing everything right. Therefore, Andromeda decides to give her and Remus an early Christmas gift. Of course, Andromeda couldn't have predicted how it would end.But luckily, we still have Christmas cookies!Christmas Remadora AU. Takes place after DH, they survive and raise Teddy together.
Relationships: Remus Lupin/Nymphadora Tonks
Comments: 16
Kudos: 20





	1. one merry mummy

23 December 1998

An eight-month-old baby can express some basic emotions like happiness or excitement as well as displeasure and anger. Recently, Teddy Lupin seemed to like the last two in particular. 

Furthermore, he began crawling, so someone had to keep an eye on him all the time. He even tried to stand up by the furniture, which usually ended up with falling on the bum and crying. Remus said it was due to the clumsiness he supposedly inherited from Tonks. But both knew that Teddy's feet were just still too weak to support the weight of his body. 

Lately, the couple rarely had some time just for themselves. Remus was teaching at Hogwarts during the week, and sometimes he also had duties at the weekends. So they only had an hour or two in the evenings, before Tonks fell asleep from exhaustion. Or the time around the full moon, but then Remus had to rest. 

Plus, Tonks was planning to return to work after New Year's Eve, so soon they would spend even less time together.

The more they appreciated the early Christmas present from Andromeda.

Mrs Tonks give the young cupel an invitation to the Christmas Chocolate Tasting in Honeydukes. She also offered to take care of Teddy, not only for this evening but for the whole day! 

Tonks couldn't wait to spend twenty-four hours alone with her husband and to get out of the house together. Or to get out of the house at all.

The maternity routine was killing her. Sometimes she was jealous of Remus that he could go to work and talk with his adult colleagues, that he still had a life outside from home. Caring for the baby was exhausting but most of all, boring. For the last three months, Tonks had the feeling that she lived the same day over and over again.

Feeding, poo, nap, feeding, walk, poo, feeding, cleaning, bath, sleeping, feeding.

Of course, she loved Teddy, he was the most wonderful child in the world! And Remus helped her whenever he could. Sometimes he would take Teddy for a three-hour walk so that she could get some rest and have the house to herself. But the young mother also wanted to spend some time just with her husband again. And this Christmas Chocolate Tasting event was the best opportunity for that.

Tonks wanted this evening to be perfect! Therefore, she planned to start getting ready two hours earlier. Unfortunately, with young children, plans don't always work out. After she managed to calm Teddy down, Tonks only had 45 minutes left to get ready. 

She jumped into the shower, where she - almost simultaneously - washed her hair, brushed her teeth, shaved her legs and other body parts. After that, Tonks rushed into the bedroom to get dressed. She planned to wear the same dress she was wearing when Remus proposed to her. Tonks could still remember his face when he saw her in it. Remus' jaw literally dropped, and his eyes were ogling her from top to bottom.

It was a bodycon type, bottle-green and velvet dress. Tonks found it somewhere in the back of the closet, put it on, and went to look at herself in the mirror. 

She stared at the reflection for several minutes. Motionless.

There was a painful sting in her stomach.

Something was wrong. The dress did not fit as it should. Tonks remembered perfectly well how she looked like in that dress. And _this_ wasn't it.

She ran a hand over her stomach and hips, where the differences were most noticeable. Although her neckline also looked different. 

Tonks did some quick calculations in her head.

One year and five months. That much time has passed since the last time she wore that dress. 

It wasn't much. 

Yet her body looked completely different.

Of course, Tonks knew that she looked a _little_ different than before the pregnancy. In the ninth month and right after giving birth, she felt very unattractive, and even morphing her body or Remus' compliments couldn't change that. But later, when the watermelon belly disappeared, she stopped paying so much attention to her appearance. Probably because she didn't have time to look at herself in the mirror anymore. And also she usually wore loose-fitting clothes, in which her figure was not visible.

But now she came face to face with the reality. 

This dress had no mercy. It exposed all imperfections: uneven, swollen breasts, a saggy belly and butt, cellulite on hips and thighs. Only her stretch marks were covered by the fabric, but Tonks knew they were there.

_Knock, knock!_

"How are you doing, darling?" Remus asked through the door, "We should be leaving soon."

A wave of panic went through her. They should indeed be on their way to her mother's house by now. But there was no way she would show herself in that dress looking like ... _this_.

"I'm almost ready! Could you please pack the milk? Fridge, second shelf."

Tonks quickly took off the green dress and began to rummage through the wardrobe. To her horror, she realised she had no elegant but loose dress. Before pregnancy, she loved to wear tight clothes. And lately, she hasn't had time to buy new ones. 

Of course, as a Metamorphmagus, she could easily remove any imperfections. But lately, she hadn't enjoyed morphing so much. If she morphed her face, it was only to amuse Teddy. For herself, she changed her hair colour to pink but only on days when she had the strength to do it. Most often, she just stayed in her natural form.

Finally, she found a loose, black dress on thin straps, and she put a white t-shirt underneath it. It might not have been a 'magnificent styling', but she had nothing better. Tonks wasn't in the mood to change her hair colour, so she stayed with her natural brown. She only put on some light makeup and was ready to go.

Remus was already waiting for her by the fireplace, holding Teddy in his arms. She tried not to look at his face. Instead, she focused on Teddy who's chubby hands were already stretched out towards her. She took him in her arms and tickled his round tummy.

"Dora, you look absolutely beautiful!"

But she didn't feel beautiful. 

She knew he would say it. He had to say it, he was her husband after all.

However, she was pretty sure that if she had looked at him now, she wouldn't see the same desire in his eyes as when she was wearing that green velvet dress for the first time.

"Thank you. Have you packed the milk?"

A fairly large bag with things for the toddler stood already in the fireplace.

"Yes, just as you asked. So, I guess we are ready to leave?"

The little family went inside the fireplace, and a moment later, they arrived at Tonks' childhood home.

"Finally! I was already worried that something had happened. Hello, Nymphadora!" Andromeda approached them, stretching out her arms for the toddler, "Oh, Remus, you look very good today. Come to Nana, Teddy!"

While handing over Teddy to her mother, Tonks looked at her husband for the first time. Andromeda was right, he looked very good. The dark suit he wore fit perfectly on him. His hair thickened, and his smile made him look proper to his age, or even younger.

"Yes, very handsome," said Tonks and Remus' smile automatically widened. He wrapped his arms around her waist and placed a gentle kiss on her temple, whispering an acknowledgement in her ear.

The blissful mood was quickly interrupted by a loud baby crying.

Over the past month, even a brief separation from Tonks had been extremely unpleasant and difficult for Teddy. Of course, the child's bond with the mother was special. But Remus and Andromeda also took care of him from the very beginning. He was used to them, recognised them and felt safe with all three of them. However recently the little Metamorphmagus became weepy, grumpy and wanted to be close to his mother all the time. She couldn't even go to the bathroom for a moment because he immediately noticed her absence. Also, he began to cry and scream when Remus or Andromede tried to take him from her. Before that, he loved being carried by them, especially by his father.

Apparently, that was normal at that age. But knowing that didn't make anything easier. Especially since Tonks was going back to work soon.

"Look, Teddy! There is mummy. She is still here. You see?" Andromeda turned him so he could see Tonks. That calmed him a little.

They had practised it several times before. Teddy was left alone with his Nana for a few minutes, then a little longer, then an hour, two, five, eight. He always cried terribly for Tonks, and it made her feel miserable every time. And today, he would stay with Andromeda for 24 hours.

Remus put the milk in the refrigerator and carried the bag to Tonks' old room. The women moved with Teddy to the couch. Andromeda held him on her lap while Tonks' talked' to him. She knew that the toddler did not understand anything, but she had to explain to him what was going on and that although she leaves him, she loves him very much.

"All right, little man, time to say goodbye. Take care of your grandmother, and remember, no mischief without daddy," Remus kissed the small head covered with long, blue hair." I'll see you tomorrow, son. Daddy loves you very much!"

After that, he left through the front door. It was time for Tonks to say goodbye. Like Remus, she kissed his head and reassured him one last time that she loved him very much. Now came the most difficult moment.

As soon as she got up from the couch, Teddy started screaming. After a few steps, he began to cry. And when she was at the door, he was weeping. The heart of the young mother was breaking. She put on her winter coat, turned, waved at him, and left.

Tonks leaned against the door to breathe again. But Teddy's crying was heard even here. Merlin, why was it so hard? She didn't abandon him! She would see him again tomorrow. So why did she cry? Why did leaving him with her mother give her this awful déjà vu? Back _then_ , he didn't even cry. And she tried so hard to forget about that night.

Suddenly she felt broad arms hugging her body. She returned the hug and clutched her husband even tighter. Remus began to stroke her head gently. She always felt better and safer with him.

"We don't have to go anywhere if you don't want to. We can just go back home with Teddy."

And that was exactly what she wanted to do.

She wanted to say yes and go back for Teddy. She knew Remus wouldn't be angry. They could go home altogether, change Teddy in his 'Silent night? Yeah, right!' bodysuit, drink some homemade hot chocolate, play Christmas carols and... 

That wouldn't work. 

She would just go back to the 'feeding, poo, nap' cycle. And maybe it wouldn't bother her today, but how was she supposed to deal with it when she returns to work? She needs to get used to these goodbyes.

And it's not like _then_. It's not! Tonks knows for sure that she will return to Teddy. That he is safe, Remus is safe, her whole family is safe. 

Meanwhile, the crying faded and was finally replaced by laughter.

Remus was still holding her tight and was not about to let her go. How lucky she was to find such a husband. And to think they almost lost everything. Or that at first, he didn't want it at all (at least that was what he tried to tell himself).

Tonks looked at him, and she wanted to go straight home again, but this time for a completely different reason and ... maybe better without the baby.

Remus leaned over and pecked her on the forehead.

"Really, Dora, if you don't want to go, we can just cancel everything."

"No, it's ok. We should go. After all, I know how much you love hot chocolate."

"But not as much as I love you," he whispered with his husky voice.

Tonks stood on tiptoe and kissed him on his lips. 

It took him only a second before he returned and deepened the kiss passionately. She parted her lips, and he filled her mouth with his warmth. A warmth that spread through her entire body. 

Holy Merlin!

She felt an intense flutter in her stomach that reached down to her fingertips. 

His hands took control of her body, and his tongue took control of her mind. He pulled her closer to him and drew little circles on her neck. His tongue wanted her more longingly, more intense, more hungrily with every second.

He silenced all her thoughts, besides the one wanting to be closer and closer to him.

They only broke apart when they ran out of air. Remus was still holding her in his arms, but Tonks gently moved away from him and started walking towards the apparition spot.

"Let's go!" shouted the young mother panting slightly, "The first one in Hogsmeade will get ten bars of chocolate from the second!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ho, ho, ho!🎅
> 
> It's almost Christmas!🥰 I don't know about you, but despite covid, I was in a festive mood for most of December. 
> 
> This fic started with an idea which I had at the beginning of December, and that will be placed in Chapter 4. It was supposed to be a one-shot, but I'm starting to fear that I can't write one-shots anymore 😅
> 
> However, I couldn't start writing it for a long time. I didn't know where to begin and what should happen next, except for the one scene I already had in my head. I didn't plan to expand it too much, just to have some beginning, middle and end. And then I start writing, and suddenly this happened. 
> 
> Please let me know what you think about my mummy Tonks or other parts of the fic.
> 
> I hope to complete this story in a few days, so I'm still holding back my Christmas wishes 😉 
> 
> with love,  
> Nicole🎁🍫


	2. mummy needs her jingle juice

23 December 1998

"I won!" called Tonks as she Apparated in Hogsmeade.

"I'm sorry to disappoint you, sweetheart," replied Remus already standing at the entrance to Honeydukes, "but it looks like _you_ owe me ten bars of chocolate."

"No way! How did you do that? I had an advantage over you!"

"I'm afraid it's because of your very short legs."

Tonks hit him on the shoulder with her fist, "Joking about my height is still not funny, Remus! And I didn't see you overtake me."

"That's because I apparated right away. The protective spells from your mom's house have already been removed, you no longer need to go to the apparition spot to apparat safely."

"That's not fair! I completely forgot about it, and you didn't remind me."

"But your false start was fair?"

"Obviously! You said yourself that I have very short legs. I needed that advantage to level the playing field."

"You got a point. But, anyway, I won't give you my chocolate back. How about sharing the prize? You will buy me, and I will buy you five bars of chocolate?"

"Deal!"

Remus opened the door for her, and they went inside. Honeydukes was even more crowded than usual. The couple was a little late, but the event didn't seem to have started yet. The person checking their tickets informed them that there is about a half an hour delay, but they should already look for a place to sit. Tonks spotted two empty chairs next to each other, and they began walking towards them. But halfway through, someone stopped them.

"Oi, Remus! My boy, how good to see you!"

"Professor Slughorn... What aaaaa-..., eee, nice surprise."

"You don't have to call me professor, after all, we are fellow professionals, right?"

"I guess," and confusedly Remus added, "Horace."

"You know, Remus, I've wanted to speak with you for a long time. I read in the Daily Prophet that you received the Order of Merlin, First Class. Congratulations! I always knew you would get to something big. After all, you were such a diligent student. Well, you may not have been that good at potions, but your Defense Against the Dark Arts teachers have always praised you. Your contribution to winning this war is invaluable. I listened to Potterwatch practically every day, and I saw with my own eyes how you earned this Order yourself during the Battle. Great duelling skills!"

"To be honest, Horace, I was forced to accept this award. Someone threatened me to hex my balls off and make my noble, balls-less, prat ass sleep on the couch if I don't do that."

Tonks didn't understand why this amused her husband so much. She was quite serious about it.

"Personally, I believe that Kingsley chose me for symbolic reasons, related to my condition, then for some really outstanding accomplishments. Many other brave people took part in this fight, and they deserved this Order as much as I do. My wife for example," he put his arm around Tonks's waist, "she also fought in the Battle, although only a few weeks earlier she had a very difficult labour and brought our son into the world. Of course, I did not support this, but I cannot deny that I admire her courage."

Remus looked at her, and she couldn't help but smile.

"Merlin's beard! Mrs Lupin, I didn't recognize you without that bright hair," said Slughorn, kissing her hand, "you look a little tired. The baby gives you a rough ride, huh? You surely came to the Lilith Witches Association meeting, right?"

"It's Mrs Tonks-Lupin, actually. And I never heard anything about this association."

"Really? Then this must be changed immediately! Wait a second, I saw here, o right there, Mrs Davis! Mrs Davis, please join us! I want you to meet someone."

A young witch emerged from the crowd and began walking towards them. She seemed to be only a little older than Tonks, two or maybe three years. Her face seemed familiar. She had a blonde bob, perfect makeup, and an elegant dress. With other words, she looked fantastic! And she was pregnant, probably the second trimester.

"Mrs Davis, I wanted to introduce…"

"Nymphadora Tonks?"

"Eee…"

"Right, I'm sorry, Tonks! I forgot you don't like your first name. But by the look on your face, I guess you didn't recognize me. I'm Lucy Harris, well now it's Davis."

Now Tonks remembered. She knew the witch from Hogwarts, they were in the same house. Lucy was even the captain of the Hufflepuff Quidditch team. 

"Right! I remember you. Wotcher Lucy!"

"Oh, you already know each other," Slughorn clapped his hands together, "how wonderful! Mrs Davis, I was wondering if you could tell us a little bit about the Lilith Witches Association? You see Mrs Tonks-Lupin is a new mummy."

"Ooo."

Lucy looked from Tonks to Remus, Remus to Tonks, and so on several times. It was easy to guess what was on her mind now. Tonks felt that her husband's hand, still hugging her waist, suddenly tighten. 

They lived undeniably in a better world now than six months ago. But better did not mean good. Tonks knew the prejudices against werewolves wouldn't just go away. But that didn't mean she didn't care. She was about to say something to this _Lucy_ when the blond witch did something unexpected. She hugged her.

"That's wonderful, congratulations! And of course, I will tell you everything about LWA!"

Tonks was positively shocked by the blond witch reaction. And apparently, Remus too, as his body relaxed again.

"The association was founded during the First Wizarding War by a midwife witch named Lilith. She helped women who, for various reasons, were afraid to give birth in St Mungo's. Not only did she help them give birth, but she also gave valuable tips on motherhood and if necessary, helped them hide. Unfortunately, Lilith herself died in 1974, but the women she had helped continue to support each other. And today the LWA helps and connects all mothers from the British Wizarding World."

"I didn't know that this association is still working."

"Waite, Remus, how do you know about it and I don't?"

"From Lily and Alice. They were at several meetings."

Tonks had to admit that so far she had only thought about getting rid of Slughorn as soon as possible. She did not want to hear about some association, she was not interested in it at all. But this whole Lilith sounded pretty cool. And since Lily and Alice were members of this club, it couldn't be that bad.

"I'm surprised your mother never told you about it. When Andromeda found out she was pregnant and asked for my help, I personally put her in touch with Lilith. And as far as I know, she was also an active member of LWA for a while."

That was also new. Andromeda never mentioned to Tonks about being in some kind of mother's club. But why? Did she just think Tonks wasn't interested in something like that? Or had Andromeda decided her daughter is not fit for it? Tonks did not inherit from her the grace of a lady, and Lucy looked like she might as well have tea with the Queen. Could that be the reason?

"Yes, many honourable witches were members of the LWA. You should also join us, Tonks!"

"I don't want to disappoint you, Mrs Davis," Remus interrupted before Tonks could say anything," but knowing my wife, these meetings are not for her."

"Excuse me?!"

What's that supposed to mean? How could Remus know that she wouldn't like it there? After all, Lily and Alice were members too. Tonks wasn't that much different from them, right?

"I mean…. eee… you really want to join this, Dora?"

"I don't see why not. Lucy, could you maybe introduce me to the LWA?"

"Of course! Come with me, Tonks. You're gonna love it!"

Lucy grabbed her wrist and started leading her across the room, leaving Remus behind. Tonks was furious with her husband. She was going to prove to him that she was just as fit for this association as her mother and his friends. After all, Tonks wasn't such a bad mother, was she? 

For a while, the two witches pushed through the crowd until they reached the wall where a round table stood with four women beside it.

"Ladies, I just found a new candidate for our association!"

"Wotcher!"

Four pairs of eyes were suddenly fixed on Tonks. She felt their appraising gaze on her, and for a moment, she wondered if this was really a good idea.

"Ah! How lovely! Come," said finally one of those women, conjuring a chair, "sit with us, sweety! I'm Margaret Hughes, the president of the Lilith Witches Association. I'm forty-two years old, and I have a fifteen-year-old son, Benjamin. Before me, my mother was the president of this association, so I can tell you everything about the LWA."

Margaret's smile was intimidatingly perfect. Still, she seemed to be a nice person. Her eyes were hidden behind thick black-rimmed glasses, and her hair was dark red with blonde highlights, pinned up in a perfect bun. She gave the impression of a principled, perfectly organized and perhaps a bit pedantic person.

"And this is Carol Martin," she pointed her hand at the witch sitting to her left, "longtime members of LWA. She has five lovely kids: Grace and Sophie, twins, nine years old, charming angel, Eloise, eight, has an artistic talent, Luna, five, rushing on a child's broom like a pro and Ruby three years old with the most beautiful hair!"

"And Daisy will join our family in February," said Carol holding her belly.

Carol had shoulder-length blonde hair and was smiling broadly the whole time. Tonks thought she looked way too happy to be a mother of five young children. And she had doubts whether Carol even blinks.

"Here on my right side is Azumi Bletchley. From what I understood, she was previously working as a Curse-Breaker, right Azumi? She moved here from Japan after marrying her husband. They have two children, Haruki and Yoshi. Four and eighteen-month-old.

"Hello!"

Azumi bowed her head slightly. She seemed to be the most reticent of the group, but Tonks doubted it was only because of her language skills.

"And you already know Lucy?"

"Yes, from Hogwarts. Lucy was the Captain of our house Quidditch team. And I heard that you become a professional player. For the Wimbourne Wasps?"

"Wigtown Wanderers actually. But that's ancient history. I won't get on a broom now, right?" she showed at her belly. "My due date is at the end of March. My husband and I don't want to know the gender yet. Also, I am the mother of Holly, a wonderful three-year-old."

"Cool."

"And I'm Bobbi Whitby," said a dark-skinned girl sitting next to Tonks. She looked like she was Ginny or Hermione's age. Like Margaret, she had her hair in a bun, although it wasn't so pedantically perfect.

"Nice to meet you, Bobbie!"

"Bobbie joined us quite recently. She gave birth to a wonderful boy in mid-July this year. His name is Arvin." Margaret explained, then looked directly at Tonks. "Right, now sweety tell us something about you." 

"Sure! Yeah, all right...Eee... I'm Tonks, I'm twenty-five years old, I'm an Auror, and I have an eight-month-old son. My husband and I named him Teddy after my father."

"Tonks is a rather strange name."

"It's my last name, actually. I don't like my first name. Although that's not entirely true. My last name is now Tonks-Lupin."

"Lupin?!"

"Like Remus Lupin?"

"Wait, are you married to Professor Lupin?"

"That's the one."

Yes, Remus was famous. People recognized him for either being the new DADA professor, receiving the Order of Merlin, being a werewolf, or all at once. People reacted differently, and Tonks wondered how these women will respond to the information that she was a wife of a werewolf.

"Oh, he was my favourite teacher!" Bobbie exclaimed.

"But isn't he a…

"...Again teaching in Hogwarts? That's right Carol. He came back this year, and Benjamin loves him. He says Defense Against the Dark Arts is his favourite subject now. I hope he will stay for more than just one year."

"Yes, I was completely devastated when I found out he had quit."

"But I hear he is a…"

"...A laureate of the Order of Merlin too. That's right, Carol. What a great honour! You must be so proud of your husband, Tonks."

"Yes, but he is also a…"

"Carol!"

"...A werewolf," Tonks finished for her. "Yes, Carol, my husband is a werewolf."

There was an awkward silence. Lucy, Bobbie, and Azumi were staring at the table. Margaret stared furiously at Carol, who hadn't even noticed it. 

"Is your son also a werewolf?"

"Carol!!"

"Toilet!" Azumi cried out and ran toward the loo.

"No, lycanthropy is not hereditary. You can only become a werewolf by being bitten by another werewolf."

"And are you a werewolf perhaps?"

"CAROL!"

"No, I'm not."

The blond witch looked now like she was trying to focus hard on something. Eventually, Margaret stopped glaring at Carol, adjusted her glasses and folded her hands.

"I'm so sorry for that," said the president of LWA," Carol certainly didn't mean anything by it. The LWA is a place for every mother. This was one of the values that guided our founder Lilith in creating this association. We really didn't want to..."

"Does your husband bite you sometimes when you are in bed together?"

"FOR MERLIN'S SAKE, CAROL!"

"What?! I am just curious. My husband keeps biting me like I'm some piece of meat. I've had enough of this. Maybe I should have married a werewolf too."

Margaret was about to scold Carol again, but Tonks couldn't take it any longer and burst out laughing. After a while, the others started laughing too. Even Madam President. In the meantime, Azumi returned from the toilet.

Tonks had tears in her eyes from laughing, however, she probably would have continued if Bobbie hadn't banged her with an elbow.

"Professor Lupin! How nice to see you! You probably don't remember me anymore, I'm…"

"Miss Whitby, of course, I remember. I was very worried when you didn't come back to Hogwarts for this year."

"No need to worry Professor! I'm all right!

Remus just smiled politely at her, then walked over to Tonks and rested his hands on her chair.

"Ladies, please excuse me for the interruption. I've come to pick up my wife. I've just been informed that the event is about to start in five minutes."

"Oh, no! You can't do this, Mr Lupin!" Carol protested.

"Exactly. We are just getting to know your lovely wife. We haven't had time to share all our good advice with her yet. By the way, I'm Benjamin Hughes' mum."

"Please don't worry, Mrs Hughes. My wife is probably too tired to remember them anyway."

"Remus!"

"I mean… you are tired, aren't you, darling?"

"No, I'm perfectly fine. Thank you!"

"I have an idea," said Lucy. "The event is divided into three parts, each followed by a short break. Maybe Tonks will stay with us for the first part and then you spend the rest of the evening together?"

"If that's okay for you, Dora, we can do it."

Tonks took a moment to think. Of course, she wanted to spend the evening with her husband, but she was a little angry with him right now. So the proposal to stay a while longer was really tempting. Especially since she didn't know anyone else to talk to about motherhood. Her friends from school didn't have children yet. All right, she had Molly and her mother. But she couldn't talk to them like with a friend, it just wasn't the same.

"Sure! That would be great. And remember, I'm buying you only five bars of chocolate, no more. So think carefully about which one you want."

Remus squeezed her shoulder with a hand and walked over to the two empty chairs Tonks had found earlier.

And indeed, it wasn't long before the tasting started. First, a small piece of paper with the caption' score sheet' appeared in front of Tonks. Then the store owners, Mr and Mrs Flume, began to explain what to pay attention to when tasting. Until finally, large round trays with samples of chocolate appeared on the table.

The six witches started tasting and talking to each other at the same time. At first, they talked about chocolate, but then they turned to other topics as well. Like gossip, for example.

"So, ladies, have you heard of Sara?"

"No, nothing since I accidentally ran into her on Diagon Alley," said Margaret. "Why? Have you met her recently, Carol?"

"I have! And you won't believe it. She is getting divorced."

"Oh no, that's terrible!"

"Yes, apparently her husband cheated on her with the babysitter while she was at work."

"Poor thing! Although, I warned her it would end this way."

"Who is Sara?" asked Bobbie, for which Tonks was grateful because she was thinking the same.

"Oh, right! You haven't met her. Sara was once a member of our association but found our advice redundant and obsolete. She stated that she would raise her child on her own terms and left. And you can see how it ended."

"So what advice did she not follow?"

"Toilet!" and Azumie fled the table again.

"Practically all. She read some Muggle books on modern motherhood and thought that they would help her better than we. For example, she let the baby sleep in the same bed as she and her husband. Can you imagine that?"

"Eee, Margeret, why is sleeping in one bad with the baby a bad thing? It is very comfortable when you need to feed it at night."

"Of course, Tonks, it's very comfortable. I would even say _too comfortable_."

"Sorry I don't follow you."

"You see, it's so comfortable that you and your baby get quickly used to it and then you won't get it out of habit. And this can lead you to distance yourself too much from your husband." 

Tonks wanted to laugh out loud. What a load of bollocks! Teddy slept in the same bed with them practically from the very beginning. How could that distance them from each other? How could that distance them from each other?

On the other hand, there was also the sexual aspect. He may have suffered a bit from this.

"...And what when the child grows up? The three of you will no longer fit in the same bed. So obviously, your husband will sleep on the couch. And we all know what men are like. Eventually, he will go away and find a new one."

Remus would never do that! He was not like this; he would never leave her!

Though, he has actually already done so.

He left her three times. Of course, he had completely different reasons for this. But could she be sure he wouldn't leave her someday because he'd just get bored? Or when he decides that she is not as attractive as she used to be?

"Especially if a woman stops taking care of herself. Apparently, there are women who don't change clothes before their husbands come home from work."

"What?" Tonks asked, surprised that someone was actually doing this. She never even thought about changing her clothes before Remus came back home. Sometimes she didn't even get to brush her teeth before his return.

"Yes, I know! I wouldn't dare to let my husband see me in my tracksuit or with greasy hair." 

"I hear some mums use baby shampoo because they apparently don't have time to buy their own. This is probably the height of laziness."

"Yeah, who would do that? He, he..." and Tonks hoped no one would recognize the scent of her hair.

"Touché. Especially since men already look at us differently after giving birth."

"Really?" asked Bobbie.

"Of course! Haven't you noticed it? They stop seeing us as 'lovers' and start to see us as 'mothers'. And I can't blame them. Now I also associated my breasts only with feeding. When my nipples are entirely bitten by one of my kids, my husband's touch does not give as much pleasure as it used to. So sometimes I force myself to have this sex at least once in a week."

Tonks choked on the almond chocolate she was just tasting.

_At least once a week_ _?_

She and Remus had sex exactly three times since Teddy was born. And she had no idea how they possibly could do it more often.

Did Carol really have sex at least once a week with five children in the house? Did Lily and James had sex once a week after Harry was born? Did her parents... _No! Don't think about your parents Tonks!_

"Here, drink some water, sweety," said Margaret as she handed her a glass of water. "I still think Sara's biggest mistake was getting back to work too soon."

"What do you mean with 'too soon'?"

"That she had returned to work before her child was three years old."

"Toilet!" Azuma called again, though Tonks hadn't even noticed when she had returned from her previous visit to the loo.

"Why three years old? Handbooks say you can do it earlier."

"Because, earlier your child thinks you are abandoning it."

"Abandoning? But when you go back to work, you don't leave your child alone. You rent a babysitter or leave it with the grandparents. You are not abandoning it."

"But the child doesn't know that. Before it's three years old, your baby does not understand this. For him, your every absence is like abandonment. Do you really want your child to grow up in constant fear? And what about the lost time? There are so many important milestones before a child turns three. While working, you will miss them all. Besides, think about it, your baby should be breastfed as long as possible and at least until the age of two. So you'd have to express your milk every day before going to work. Trust me, you don't want to switch to these baby food potions! And there are so many other reasons why it's better to stay home with the child."

"Sure Margaret, but the maternity leave doesn't last that long."

"Unfortunately not. Therefore, every mother has to ask herself what is more important to her, her child or her job?"

So far, Tonks hadn't even considered staying longe at home with Teddy. It was obvious to her that she would return to work after her maternity leave. After all, that's how it worked: you finish maternity, you leave the child with a babysitter, and you return to work. Of course, Tonks was concerned about what it would be like, how she and Teddy and Remus would handle it. But she never considered whether it might be better just to quit her job and stay with Teddy at home.

Her family was the most important to her. But could Tonks just quit her job? Did it make her a bad mother to hesitate?

For the remaining time until the break, Tonks was unable to follow the women's conversation. She was absorbed with her own thoughts. She analyzed what she heard from the LWA members today and compared herself to them. And the results worried her.

When Mr Flume announced the break, she politely said goodbye to her new friends, and Margaret promised to send her an owl with information about the next association meeting. Then Tonks began looking for her husband. 

Remus was glad to see her and asked her how it was. The break passed quickly, and they started talking about the drinking chocolates that were now being tasted.

But Tonks was also unable to concentrate on the conversation with him. She was too busy with overthinking. And she didn't even notice when the second part of the event was over.

"You rated the almond chocolates from the first part only with one point?" he asked while comparing her score sheet with his, "Strange, I liked them."

"I think I need to go to the bathroom. Be right back."

She did have to pee from drinking all that chocolate, and she wanted to wash her face with cold water, to cool off a little. The bathroom was practically empty. One of the two cabins was occupied, so she entered the next one. As she was draining the water, she heard the sound of a rolling glass bottle.

"Kuso!"

Tonks looked down and saw a glass bottle roll over to her from the other cabin.

"Oi, I think you lost something," Tonks took the bottle and passed it through the crack, "here you go!

"Thank you!"

Tonks stepped out from the cabin, and the door next swung open as well. Standing in them was…

"Azumi?"

"Oh no, please don't tell the LWA about this incident!"

"Calm down, I will not tell anyone! But are you sure you are all right? You don't have a…"

"...Drinking problem? Only during these meetings. And it's not exactly alcohol. Rather, it is a calming drink with ginger, matcha, and literally one drop of sake for the illusion. Do you want some?"

"Sure, why not."

Tonks grabbed the bottle and took a small sip. Her mouth felt a burning sensation, but not from the alcohol. She didn't have to feed the baby tonight, so even if it was an alcoholic drink, she could drink it. Actually, Tonks wished it would contain some alcohol, she could use a little relaxation.

"You sure it was just one drop of sake?"

"Yes, don't worry. The burning is caused by the ginger."

"Okay, so you hide in the toilet to drink a calming drink. But I still don't understand why you do this?"

"Because sometimes," Azumi leaned against the wall and slowly slid down to a sitting position, "sometimes I get really nervous at these meetings."

Tonks sat down next to her and asked, "Why?"

"I guess because I'm afraid. I'm afraid that I will never be like them. And I'm jealous that they are so good at everything."

"You know, Azumi, I feel exactly the same."

"Really?"

"Yes! I was completely terrified when I was listening to all that advice from Margaret. And now I feel like I did everything wrong."

"Exactly! Sometimes I feel like I have let everyone down. And you know, I-I'm trying, I'm really trying to be like _them_. But that's just impossible for me. I can't take care of my home, my husband, my children, and myself all at the same time!"

"That is impossible! But also, what's wrong with baby shampoo? I don't get it. Nobody will notice it anyway."

"Don't ask me, I have been using baby shampoo for the last four years," they both laughed slightly. "And you know what else? I can't wait to get back to work! I can't stand staying at home anymore. I love my children more than anything else, but sometimes I just have enough of them."

"Then why don't you do it? Why don't you go back to work?"

"My husband doesn't want me to."

"What?!"

"He wants another kid. But I don't. The two we have are enough for me."

"Oh. That sucks."

"Yeah, we've been arguing a lot about that lately. Have you already talked to your husband about whether you want more children?"

"No, I don't have to. I already know, he doesn't want more children."

"And how about you?"

Tonks would love to have more kids. Though raising Teddy was exhausting, and she wasn't even sure if she was doing it right, she still would love to have more children. 

Her love for Teddy was beyond words. He was the best she and Remus have created together. She loved the smell of his head, his little fingers, his baby fat, the sound of his laughter, his round belly and big eyes, and the way he fell asleep on her.

The idea that she could have more 'Teddies' filled her heart with joy. But she knew Remus would never agree to that. So she tried to shoo away the thoughts about having more children as soon as they appeared.

"Oh, that was probably the sound announcing the end of the break. I think we have to go back now."

The women rose from the floor and returned to the hall where they split up. Remus seemed worried about Tonks' long absence but said nothing. 

The final part of the tasting began, and now they were tasting less traditional chocolates. Among them was also a pink chocolate bar.

"I guess I'll want five bars of just this chocolate," said Remus tasting it.

"Isn't it a bit too sweet for your taste, honey?"

"Oh, it's very sweet. Just like you. And it is pink, just like you."

"Remus, you haven't seen me in pink hair for about a month if not more."

"No matter what colour your hair has," Remus reached for her hand and kissed her palm, "you, Dora, will always be the pink in my life. You made the world that I previously only observed through rose-coloured glasses become my reality. And it's pure magic that I don't have diabetes because of you yet."

"Very funny," she said, taking her hand back, "if you get diabetes, it will be of your own accord. Your diet is ninety per cent chocolate Mr Moony. So the fact that you usually eat dark chocolate will not help here much."

Remus looked both ways, and when he was sure no one was looking at them, he gave his wife a small peck on the mouth.

In Tonks' opinion, the third part of the event was the best, but also the shortest of all. Nevertheless, she and Remus ate dozens of chocolates that day. Before leaving Honeydukes, the couple did some small shopping. Tonks chose five different bars with the flavours she liked best, and Remus slipped five bars of pink chocolate into their basket.

When she grabbed Remus under the arm, Tonks regretted that the evening was over now. She didn't want to go home yet. And since Teddy was staying with Andromeda for the night, they didn't have to rush. She was about to suggest to go for a walk when Remus asked, "Are you already tired, love?"

"No, not really."

"That's good. Cause I have a surprise for you."

"A surprise? What is it??"

"You will see. Now, please hold my arm tightly and close your eyes. I will apparate you sidelong. Ready?"

"Ready!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> I'm sorry, I'm posting this chapter that much later than I planned 😭 I really thought I would be able to finish writing it during Christmas. 
> 
> However, I hope you don't mind to extend the holiday atmosphere a little 😉🎅
> 
> Few words about this chapter:
> 
> \- Lilith is actually a side character from my other fic. I only knew a few details about her, including that she had helped Andromeda in giving birth to Tonks. I decided to use her here and now I have a whole background story for her.  
> \- I really enjoyed writing Carol xD  
> \- have I idealized Remus? Probably yes. I admit, that I put and leave here scenes, just for my pleasure😅
> 
> I wanted to thank you all, for reading this fic, for the comments and Kudos! 
> 
> I hope you had all a nice Christmas! 💜
> 
> There is a chance, that I will publish the next chapter before NYE, but it's quite small. So, just in case, I wish you all the best for the coming year, stay healthy, be happy and eat a lot of chocolate!🎉🎆🍾
> 
> Love,   
> Nicole


	3. mummy needs a silent night

23 December 1998

"You can open your eyes."

Tonks did as he asked her to, and at the same moment, she heard a noise coming from her right. A train was just passing over the Hungerford Bridge. Then she looked straight ahead and saw that they were standing in front of a blue sign saying 'Embankment Pier'. 

And that's how she realised they were in London.

"Remus, what are we doing here?"

"Well, I know how much you miss London, so I booked for us a boat trip along the Thames River."

She didn't wait for further explanations. Tonks threw herself into his arms so that he had to take a step back to keep his balance.

"You like it?"

"Are you kidding me? I love it!"

"Then let me take you on board of the 'Santa's Sleigh'!"

They walked over to a long boat decorated with Christmas decorations. Everywhere were lights, Christmas trees, bells, carols were played from the loudspeakers, and the staff was dressed as elves. 

Half of the boat was glazed and heated. Good, because, although in London, snow usually melted immediately after falling, it was quite cold from the river.

At the entrance, they were treated to a glass of Prosecco. 

"For my wife who…"

"No, Remus! I want to make the toast."

"All right," he said in a deep voice.

"For my husband, who makes the best surprises!"

They clinked their glasses and took a sip. Then Remus lowered his head, so their nose tapped, and they would probably have kissed had someone from the staff not come by.

The waiter informed them that their table was ready and took them to it. They were seated at the very end of the boat, giving them the perfect viewpoint. 

After a while, the boat started moving, and they placed their orders. They were still fed after the chocolate tasting, so they skipped the starters and ordered a small main course.

During the cruise, they passed London's greatest tourist attractions, such as Houses of Parliament, Big Ben, Tower Bridge and the London Eye. Everything was so beautifully lit that it was visible even though it was night. 

Tonks realised how much she missed this city! It was here, where she took her first independent steps as a young adult. Suddenly it felt like millions of light-years ago, although it was only two years. Hard to believe!

"You know, the first night Penny and I moved to London we decided to go out together. We also invited Tulip and went to a Muggle bar. They served there drinks in jars. In such big ones, you know? We were drunk after one, but we had at least three each. Not my smartest decision, I'm telling you. Eventually, we were too drunk to apparate, so we decided to go home in a Muggle fashion way. 

"While walking down the sidewalk, one of my shoes got stuck and, of course, I landed on the ground, but that's not all! My other shoe flew into the air and hit a passing bloke. These were shoes on thick platforms, you know the one you call bricks, and the poor guy got hit directly in the nose with it, so of course, it got broken. Penny fixed his nose with a spell, even though he was a Muggle and we went on as if nothing had happened. It wasn't until the next morning that we realised what we had done. But he must have been drunk too because the Ministry never found out about that incident."

"Wow! I didn't know that I was married to a criminal."

"Penny is the criminal! I just caused all this commotion, and then I kept silent." Tonks looked at the city skyline and sighed, "Merlin, I miss those times."

"Oi, darling, I know Tulip lives in the States now, and Penny... well… but you can go out with Fleur! Also, Ginny and Hermione are now home for Christmas, and they will be graduating in just a few months. You can arrange some girl's out with them."

Tonks imagined a girl's night out with Fleur, Ginny, and Hermione and it just wasn't the same. Sure, Tulip and Penny were her friends from school, and the dynamics of their friendship were unique, but the company wasn't the problem. Even with them, such a night out would be completely _different_. Less carefree?

"Sure, maybe someday," she forced a smile, "now it's your turn. I'm sure the Marauders had some adventures in London too."

"Have I ever told you about how we woke up next to the 'Elephant and Castle' statue and James was still in his deer form?"

They both shared their London adventures watching the city from behind the glass panes of the ship. They listened to music, ate and enjoyed themselves. When the waiter took their plates, the ship began to turn around. Tonks wondered what they were going to do now. She didn't feel like dessert yet.

"May I?" Remus asked, holding out his hand for her.

She took it, and they started walking towards the other room. It turned out that there was a dance floor inside. A band played music on stage, and a bar stood in the corner.

Remus led her to the dance floor, where several couples were already dancing. At one point he stopped, grabbed her waist and they started to dance.

Ever since they were together, Tonks began to enjoy dancing. Her movements were never smooth, graceful or gentle, and she lacked a sense of rhythm, but when he led her, she felt so light! And with each time she stepped on his feet less and less. She liked to dance to happy songs, but she simply loved to dance to slow songs, like now, when he held her even closer to him.

"You know, I have another story related to London," he whispered in her ear.

"Uhh, fancy to tell me that story?"

"Well, you see, in this city, I fell in love for the first time."

"Really? You don't say! With who?"

"Oh, you do not know her."

"Hey!" she prodded his shoulder.

"Ok, ok," he said with his most mischievous smile, "maybe you know her. But to be sure, I will try to describe her to you. So, she was young, colourful and full of energy."

Although what he said was nice, she did feel a strange twinge as he used the past tense. It was obvious he was talking about her. But is she still young, colourful and full of energy? Or 'was' she?

"She could make anyone laugh. And at the same time, she was one of the most competent Aurors in the entire Ministry. She was the strongest woman I knew."

And now? Was she still like that?

"And she smelled so good! Like strawberries!"

Because that's how her shampoo smelled …

"That's not all. She could change her appearance at any time. But most often she only changed her hair colour to pink. The rest she left unchanged."

Now she doesn't even change that.

"And her body," he leaned closer to her and spoke so softly that only she could hear him, "was the sexiest I've ever seen. Merlin! This wasp waist, those breasts, those hips! I could…"

"Toilet!" Tonks cried out and ran toward the loo without looking back.

She couldn't stay there any longer! Tonks felt as if she was falling to pieces. She reached the bathroom and grabbed the sink.

_Inhale, exhale._

After a while, she felt a little better, could even stand on her own feet again. She turned on the cold water, and her wet hands ran over her cheeks, neck and nape. She raised her head and finally looked in the mirror.

_Who was this Tonks?_

_When did she change like that?_

Suddenly, she no longer recognised herself. And it wasn't the first time she had felt like this that day. If she could, she would have stayed in that bathroom for the rest of the evening.

But she realised that her behaviour was unfair to Remus. In fact, he didn't do or say anything wrong. So Tonks decided to go back and apologise to him.

She went to the restaurant part of the boat first, thinking he must have gone back to their table. However, he was not there. So she went to the dance floor, but he wasn't on there either. Finally, she spotted him at the bar.

Only, he wasn't alone.

Remus was talking to a woman with long auburn hair, both holding drinks in their hands. 

As if that was not enough, this woman was wearing a bodycon type, bottle-green and velvet dress. Her dress!!

And it looked good on her.

They were talking as they would know each other. Remus' body language showed that he was comfortable with her, and she was laughing at something he said. Only Tonks had never seen this woman before. She decided to observe them for a while. 

Something that looked like a wand holder was sticking out of the woman's purse, so she probably wasn't a Muggle. She looked to be about thirty and was much taller than Tonks. Though partly due to the high heels she wore with confidence and grace (something, that Tonks never mastered). And there was no ring on her fingers.

Tonks felt her anger rise. How dare this woman talk to her husband and look so good in this dress? And when she punched Remus on the shoulder with her fist - something only Tonks claimed the right to - the line has been crossed.

"Here you are, sweetheart!" she said, grabbing Remus by the arm, "Oh, and who is this?"

Tonks looked at this woman with a false smile. She hadn't felt the need to turn her hair into snakes and look like Medusa in a long time, but now she had.

"Dora! I was already worried about you."

_Sure, you were._

"This is Professor Dylan Fraser, the new Transfiguration teacher."

"Mrs Lupin, I'm glad we can finally get to know each other. Remus told me so much about you!" said the witch with a welsh accent.

For some reason, Tonks felt no need to correct Professor Fraser about her new surname. And the fact that she called her husband by name irritated her. Sure, they were colleagues, so it was normal, but she couldn't help it.

"Nice to meet you too, Professor Fraser. Unfortunately, I have heard almost nothing about you."

"Oh, that's not true, love. I've told you about Dylan many times. Don't you remember? You asked me with whom I spent the great feast and I told you that I met the new Professor of Transfiguration."

_Yeah, only you forgot to mention that she was a woman._

"Yes, your husband is a real gentleman! You know, Mrs Lupin, I was so nervous about this job. I was afraid that I would not be able to cope with the students. But it turned out that the first stressful event happened even outside the classroom. During the great feast, I had no idea where to sit. Everyone else was much older than me, some were even my teachers. That's when Remus came over and offered a seat next to him at the table. At least one person I already knew from Hogwarts, but that didn't teach me."

"Waite, you were together in Hogwarts?"

"That's right. Remus was a prefect when I was sorted into Gryffindor. He obviously doesn't remember me from those times."

_Five-year age gap. The perfect difference, not too much, not too little._

"I already apologised to you for that."

"Unnecessarily. I'm not angry about it. After all, you were one of the most popular boys in school."

"We both know this is not true, Dylan."

"But that is the truth! In my dormitory, girls always talked about who their favourite Marauder was."

"So which one was your favourite?" Tonks tried to say it neutrally, but it came out a little too harsh.

Dylan laughed weirdly and looked a little confused. Tonks knew she had put the new Transfiguration teacher in an uncomfortable situation, but she didn't regret it. She didn't like the way that woman looked at her husband.

Then, someone prodded Dylan from behind. The woman lost her balance and grabbed Remus by the neck to keep from falling over. Her drink spilt right onto his shirt.

Tonks' blood began to boil. This woman hugged her husband by the neck, in front of her eyes!

Dylan regained her balance and started rubbing with her elbow against Remus' chest. Probably to dry the stain from her drink faster. Tonks was so furious she was unable to speak.

"Merlin, I'm so sorry, Remus! I'm not usually that clumsy."

"Don't worry, I got used to it. It happens to me all the time at home."

"That's not true!" Tonks huffed, "I'm not as clumsy as I used to be!"

"I know, honey. I meant Teddy."

"Oh."

"By the way, how is your son doing? I can't wait to see his Metamorphmagus abilities."

"I'm afraid you will have to wait a little longer for that, Professor. Teddy will go to Hogwarts in about ten years."

"Yes, of course, teaching him will be a real pleasure. But I feel so honoured to be able to take him in about four months for the..."

"Taking? My son?!"

Tonks' hand was already on her wand, and she didn't care that they were in a place full of Muggles.

"Eeee... For the observation."

"Dora, we talked about it, and you agreed, remember? McGonagall asked me to bring Teddy to Hogwarts for half a day so she could observe him and make notes for the book she is writing."

"Yes, we talked about _McGonagall_. I agreed to _McGonagall_. Not _her_!"

"Dora, calm down. Professor Fraser is the co-author of this book. Dylan is a great specialist and has experience with young children. And you know Minerva doesn't know much about babies, she needs support."

"I don't care! This is my son, I will not give him to someone I don't know."

"All right, let's talk about it at home."

"Mrs Lupin, please don't be angry. I understand you're worried, but I will just help Professor McGonagall. I'm good with children, I often look after my five-year-old niece. And I am also very good with Transfiguration. I know I haven't found anything for your problems yet, but it is due to the small amount of literature. The more it is important to..."

"Did you just say something about my 'problems'?"

"Yes, with your, eee, with your Morphing."

"Excuse me?!"

"Well, Remus asked me…"

"WHAT?!"

"Dora, let me explain."

"NO!" she warned Remus by threatening him with her index finger, "What exactly my husband asked you to do?"

"It's really nothing bad, Mrs Lupin."

"I will judge it."

"Well, he-he said that you are, you are very tired lately, and therefore you cannot Morph. He asked me to check if it was normal and, and if something could be done about it. Really, no big deal."

Her whole body was shaking. She couldn't breathe. Her teeth clenched so tightly that her tooth enamel crumbled a little. She wanted to hex someone, curse loudly, hit the wall with her fist, but mostly she wanted to cry.

Tonks turned and started running towards the unglazed part of the boat. She needed fresh air.

She heard footsteps behind her, and then Remus' voice calling her. She didn't stop. Tears began to flood her eyes. Eventually, she reached the railings and could not run any further.

"Dora, please let me explain everything!"

"I do not want to listen to that. I want to get out of here."

"Dora, love, I…"

"No, Remus! You don't have to explain, I understand everything perfectly. Sure, you were in love with the real me. Only now I'm not like that anymore, so you want me to morphe and be like that again. Just I can't do even this!"

"What? Dora, what are you…"

"I know I'm not what I used to be! And I don't look as good in that green dress as Dylan anymore…

"What dress?"

"...and I don't smell like strawberries, I smell like baby shampoo…"

"Dora, please…"

"...I know you don't find me attractive anymore, I know, I understand it, and I also don't like me anymore…"

"Dora!"

"... I'm fat. I have no idea what happened to my breasts. I'm not funny, I'm not colourful…"

"Stop!"

"...I'm a bad mother…"

"Please, stop."

"...I understand that you don't want me like that anymore. That you'd prefer someone like Dylan. That… Wait, where are you going?"

Remus started walking towards the glass part of the ship.

"Are you going to her?"

He didn't answer or stop.

"Seriously, Remus? You're just gonna leave me? Merlin, why am I even surprised? You always leave me!"

Suddenly he stopped and turned to her again.

"No, go to her! Go! I wish you two all theee… What are you...? Oh no. NO! Reeem…Aaaaa!"

_Splash!_

A second ago, Remus ran up to her, grabbed her by the waist, turned them around, and threw them both into the water.

"Remus, are you out of your mind? Why did you do that?!"

"Thought you could use a little cool down."

"We're all wet, and this water is ice cold!"

"Is it?"

Now Tonks realised that the water wasn't actually cold, only wet. But it was the beginning of winter, the water should have been freezing!

"I used a warming charm before I threw us in here."

"So actually I can't really cool down?"

"No, but you are calmer now. And I will not let anyone speak badly about my wife," Remus swam up to her and put his hands around her body," not even my wife herself."

"But…"

"No, Dora, now you listen to me. Yes, I asked Dylan for help, but only because I'm worried about you! I know how you loved Morphing, and I see how tired you are, that you have no more power to enjoy your abilities. You've been so sad lately. And I know I should have talked to you about this first. But I wanted to surprise you once I found something that could help you. 

"And yes, it would probably be better if I told you right away that Professor Fraser would also take part in this observation."

"And that she's a woman."

"I thought you knew that."

"Well, I didn't! Dylan is not really a common female name, after all.

"You're right. But I didn't want to hide anything from you, really. I just didn't think it was that important. You know, McGonagall is still responsible for everything. She asked me about this favour, and she will be doing the observation. But we can cancel everything if you just say one word. Your approval is the most important here."

Remus was looking her straight in the eye as he spoke. Tonks knew he wasn't lying. Suddenly she felt that her reaction was very childish. _Stupid hormones!_

"I guess, I could I have exaggerated a bit."

"A bit?"

"Don't go overboard Lupin!"

"It's probably too late for that."

Tonks splashed water in his face, and she quickly regretted it. Remus grinned mischievously and seemed to look younger right away. He used wandless magic and made a small wave that went all over Tonks.

They began to splash water alternately on themselves. And they were getting closer and closer to each other. At one point Remus reached out and pulled her to him. Tonks wrapped her legs around his waist. Her hands cupped his cheeks. He was holding her firmly in his arms. Their noses were almost touching.

"I want you to know one more thing," he whispered, "What you said about yourself is absolute bollocks. You are the most beautiful woman in the world. Yes, your body changed, but if you ask me, you look much better now! Merlin, Dora, if you would only know how often I have to hold back from shagging you in front of our son! 

"Yes, I know you've gained weight. And maybe you think that it is something bad, but I don't. Actually, I'm happy about it! Don't you remember what you looked like before pregnancy? You weren't thin, no, you looked like a skeleton! 

"My mission in the werewolf camp, the loss of loved ones, the war - it all took a toll on your health. And during your pregnancy, the whole world has turned upside down. You know that I had various fears, including the fear that we would not be able to provide for ourselves. That I wouldn't be able to feed my family. That you and the baby will starve.

"So, believe me, Dora, the view of body fat on you and Teddy, makes me actually happy! And maybe even a little proud."

Tonks listened to him and felt tears welling up in her eyes again. Only this time, they were happy tears.

"I think I ruined our evening."

"You could never ruin it. Besides," he did a half-smirk, "I must admit, I actually enjoyed seeing you jealous."

"I wasn't jealous! "

"Oh, really? So why were you so upset that Professor Fraser was a woman?"

"I wasn't upset. It's just…," unfortunately, no excuse came to her mind, "All right, maybe I was a little jealous."

"Stupid woman. As if I could have eyes for anyone else then you. Very stupid."

"Hey! I thought you don't let anyone speak badly about your wife?"

"Except me. As a husband, I'm obligated to bring you down to earth from time to time."

"Bring me down to earth?"

"Or into the water."

Tonks splashed water in his face again.

"By the way, slowly, the warming charm stops working."

"Yes, that probably wasn't one of my brightest ideas. The Thames is not the best place for a bath. I think we should go home, wash and warm ourselves."

"We can't. Our things are still on the boat."

"Then maybe I will Apparate us home together, and you will take a shower. In the meantime, I will return to the boat to get our things. I should be back before you even get out of the shower."

"Hmm, sounds good to me!"

They were back home in the blink of an eye. Water was dripping from them, and it got really chilly. Even so, Tonks felt absolutely happy!

As she went to the bedroom to get her pyjamas, she was repeating Remus' words in her mind.

_You are the most beautiful woman in the world._

And finally, she felt like that.

The mess she made in the bedroom while looking for something to wear was still there. Her green dress lay right in the middle of the floor.

_Yes, your body changed, but if you ask me, you look much better now!_

Tonks picked up her green dress, looked at it, and laughed. She felt as if she had just won some competition. She tossed the dress back into the closet along with the rest of the scattered clothes and went to the linen dresser to look for some pyjamas. She was trying to pair a loose T-shirt with her long plaid flannel trousers when something caught her eye.

There was a small package in the back corner. It was wrapped in delicate lilac paper and tied with a vanilla bow. It was a wedding gift from Tulip, which she had sent when she found out that Tonks got married.

So far, Tonks hasn't had the opportunity to use this gift, but tonight...

_Merlin, Dora, if you would only know how often I have to hold back from shagging you in front of our son!_

Tonight they don't have to hold back.

Tonks tucked the lilac package between her flannel pants, grabbed her bathrobe, and went to the bathroom. She washed her hair again, this time using her strawberry shampoo, while Remus returned to the ship for their things.

Slowly she untied the ribbon and took out the delicate powder pink fabric. She put on the nightdress and looked at herself in the mirror. 

Tonks thought that Tulip really knew her stuff. She would never have chosen such a nightdress herself. It was almost knee-length and resembled ancient Greek clothing. There was a thin ribbon tied in a bow just below the bust. If someone pulled on it, the entire nightdress would fall to the ground. Almost like unwrapping a gift.

She heard that Remus had come back home, so she quickly put on her bathrobe and left the bathroom.

"Did you find everything?" 

"Yes!" he kissed her forehead and then raised his hand in which he had their Honeydukes purchases, "I think I'll use some of these chocolates to make cookies."

"Ok, but maybe not today, honey. Take a shower and come back to me quickly," said Tonks kissing him on the lips.

She quickly went into the bedroom, took off her bathrobe, and lay down on the bed. Tonks changed her poses a few times to make it look at least a little natural. Finally, she leaned back against their comfortable, large pillows. She tried to relax. Tonks closed her eyes and began to imagine her husband's expression on seeing her like that.

Now all she had to do was wait patiently for Remus to come back from the bathroom and…

...stay awake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> Happy New Year! (I hope it's not too late to say that 😅)
> 
> In this chapter, we have much more interactions between Remus and Tonks. Writing a jealous Tonks was fun and after I got the idea of Moony (let's be honest, it was Monny, not Remus) throwing them both into the Thames River, I had to write it!
> 
> So, I hope you have enjoyed reading this chapter and I would be grateful if you could leave some comment/review.
> 
> Thank you!  
> Nicole
> 
> P.S. JKR owns Harry Potter


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